That Old Familiar Pain (Prompt #10 - Music and Song)

by Steve Gallup

If you ever wanted to conjure up the essence of high school in just one song, it would be practically impossible.

Some moments in high school are moments of loneliness and quiet desperation -- moments of teenage angst.  Some are moments of defiance and freedom -- moments of teenage rebellion.  And some are moments of love and hope -- moments of youthful optimism.

In the '80s, Under Pressure by Queen, and Out Here on my Own, from the movie Fame, sort of exemplified our feelings of stress and loneliness at the School of Science and Math.

Songs that encapsulated our dreams and defiance included Hit Me With Your Best Shot by Pat Benatar, and Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey.

Songs of relief and revelry included Best of Times by Styx, Let the Good Times Roll by The Cars, and Celebration by Kool & the Gang.

Each of those singles bring  back certain pieces of the high school experience. But there are two songs that go a little deeper -- that bring back a memory of the whole achievement, looking back on it as if it has just concluded -- Dream Weaver by Gary Wright, and Same Old Lang Syne by Dan Fogelberg.

Dream Weaver is etched in my psyche. It sets off my limbic system. Whenever I hear the burbling, synthesized arpeggios at the beginning of the song... I’m transported back in time... to a dimly lit, crowded room in school, surrounded by classmates watching a slideshow -- photographic slides fading in and out. 

You see, our art teacher, Joe Liles, took lots of photos. He created slideshows and set them to music. After preparing the show, he would arrange to have the entire class gather in a room (or auditorium) to sit for a moment and watch the show together. It was a chance to reflect and bond after a year of tribulation.

The slideshow became a tradition and the tradition survived. At nearly every reunion, Joe's slideshow is played again.  Each time we have grown a little bit older.

For the class of '82, that slideshow always begins with the swirling synthesizer intro of Dream Weaver, taking us straight back to our junior year. It's followed by the evocative lyrics, "I've just closed my eyes again...". And pretty soon, listening to the haunting melody, I've "climbed aboard the dream weaver train", right along with Gary Wright.

Whenever I hear the song... anywhere in the world... I think of my class gathered together, watching familiar faces from out of the past... set to the playlist of the era... starting with Dream Weaver. 

Same Old Lang Syne has a similar affect. It was released during our stay at NCSSM, but the meaning and the emotion of the song has grown even stronger over time. It's nostalgic. In fact, nostalgia is written into the lyrics,  mournfully sung by Dan Fogelberg:

We drank a toast to innocence
We drank a toast to time
Reliving in our eloquence
Another auld lang syne…

When he sings, "Just for a moment, I was back at school, And felt that old familiar pain",
it’s truly gut-wrenching — the realization and acceptance that we can’t go back and revisit the past, no matter how much we might like to.

So now, each New Years Eve, I indulge myself, in a few minutes of musical nostalgia.  I play Same Old Lang Syne, or I post it on my Facebook page.

For a moment, I think of my close friends and my mentors. I think of their passing or their distance.

I think of the angst and the heartbreak, the dreams and desires, the success and celebration.

I think of the love... and the love lost... when we went our separate ways.