Displays of Affection (Prompt # 8 - PDA at NCSSM)

Displays of Affection

by James Lisk

July 21, 2025

 

In Douglas Adam’s book So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish (part of the Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy book series), the main character, Arthur, falls into a romance with a young woman named Fenchurch. Fenchurch could already float an inch off the ground, so it was an easy matter for Arthur to teach her how to fly. In the book, flying is largely a matter of forgetting how to fall.  Once they could both fly, they took their dates into the clouds. And if you want to know what they did in the clouds, Douglas Adams is quite clear: “It is none of your business.”

Alas, I still have not forgotten how to fall, so when Beth and I started dating at NCSSM in 1980, there was no way for me to teach her how to fly. So the clouds were few and far between.

When Beth and I were together on campus, holding hands, walking with my arm around her just felt nice. More than that? Refer to Douglas Adams.

The PDA trouble may have started on a nice sunny day, maybe the second week, when Beth and I were sitting under one of the oaks in front the Main Building (now called the Bryan Center) and a reporter, I believe for the Durham Morning Herald, was touring the campus. We were both studying, but we were also clearly together. We weren’t the only couple the reporter saw that day. But when her article was published, it said something to the effect that “the school looks more like the North Carolina School of Lovers than of Science and Math.” I still feel sorry for that reporter, and wonder if she has ever been able to get a date.

Clearly though, something had to be done. After all, NCSSM was just getting started and needed a reputation as a serious, academic institution. A two or maybe a three-pronged approach to the issue seemed to be taken by the administration.

NCSSM director, Dr. Eilber, speaking to the students in the library in 1980

First, there was the PDA talk. Up to that point, I’d never heard the term “Public Display of Affection.” We students were all politely reminded that we needed to be mindful of all the eyes on us. During that discussion, one of the guys responded that we were now away from our families and friends, and that “it is easier to stand on four legs than on two.”

Second, was having the residential advisors monitor the dorm commons areas and a set of rules for co-educational interactions. In one instance in a common area, a teacher wacked the buttocks of a young man to break his embrace from his affectionate girl.  

Third, seemed to be something of a concession to the students, with regular dances and outings being organized to allow time for socializing in a non-private setting outside the public eye. Maybe that was planned all along, after all we were teenagers. Those events gave us a needed chance to step away from home work and the books.

I recall only one specific occasion when I was clearly chastised for PDA, and that was off-campus. Beth and I went to church with several other students, including Saralynn Hawkins and Chris Staffa, driven by Chris’ mother. During the worship service, I put my arm around Beth and got a very stern look from the assistant minister, Rev. Wilson Gunn, who was also our Sunday School teacher. I promptly removed my arm. He later asked that I not put my arm around Beth during worship.

One staff comment came when I had my arm around Beth, walking down the hall. Dot Doyle approached, looking at me she said, “I know she’s great, but I need to talk with her for a bit” and then pulled Beth away.

 

Dating happened at NCSSM, and displays of affection were part of that. Flirtations happened, couples came together, and most broke up while at NCSSM or later. Beth and I dated steadily while at NCSSM, but our college choices challenged our relationship.

While Beth and I were brought together by North Carolina, during college, with me at Virginia Tech and Beth at Furman University in South Carolina, we were geographically separated by North Carolina. Beth and her family moved to Kingsport, Tennessee after she left NCSSM, further from from my home, but relatively close to Virginia Tech. Getting together during breaks required planning, a car and gas money, and I was the proverbially broke college guy. With no car on campus my freshman year, visits were out. Long distance relationships are hard, especially in the days before smart phones replaced expensive long distance phone calls.  

Neither Beth nor I had friends attending our respective college at the start of our freshman year. At Virginia Tech, everyone else seemed to know at least a dozen other folks; making friends took effort.    

During college, we stayed in touch largely with weekly letters and occasional phone calls. We saw each other on occasion during breaks or the rare weekend trip. And yes, we went out with other people. 

I experienced some dark times at Virginia Tech: times I thought Beth and I would never be together again, times certain professors seemed to have it in for me, and when my favorite professor was killed in an auto accident. When my dad was laid-off from his job and my financial aid was cut in my Junior year, I seriously considered dropping out of school to work. Beth and I remained at least friends throughout.

In a summer session between Junior and Senior year, Chemical Engineering students like me must take the Unit Operations Lab. That summer, in 1985, Beth visited several times and I proposed marriage. But I didn’t ask the right way: 1) I didn’t have a ring, 2) I hadn’t talked to her father and 3) I totally forgot about the down on one knee thing. I was quickly able to fix number 3, but the talk with her parents had to wait until Thanksgiving, and the ring had to wait for me to get a student loan. In hind-sight, I should have borrowed more! We married in 1987, while I was in graduate school, still broke, and Beth was working as an accountant. Now in 2025, with two kids and two grand kids, we’re still together. 

 

Kodachrome (Prompt # 8)

by Steve Gallup

Nothing brings back the romantic memories of high school more than the beginning of Autumn, when the stifling haze, heat, and humidity of summer is finally replaced by delightfully temperate days and nippy starlit nights.

I was young, and naturally, I was hopeful of having a romantic experience, as I settled into my new environs at school in the Fall of 1980.  We, the students at NCSSM, were no longer making trips to libraries and auditoriums; taking tours and listening to talking heads.  We had settled into an academic routine.  Outside of class, we were making new friends.  And we were hoping (maybe) we could become more than friends.  

There were lots of opportunities to deepen our friendships.  We went dancing in the basement of Wyche House, lights turned low and stereo-speakers humming.  I remember the anticipation of those social activities. We dressed up and scurried in clusters through the horrifying haunted house, staged and enacted in the old morgue.  It was delightful.  We went trick-or-treating in opposite-sex dorms; a rarely authorized peek into the rooms of our classmates.

But sex and mating were strictly forbidden.  Life was a Victorian melodrama.  No boy could step foot into a girl's boudoir.  No girl could cross the threshold of a boy's bedchamber.  Intervisitation was confined to recreation rooms and common areas, unless there was an adult chaperone.

So, the rec rooms and the porches became the settings for affection.  There was cuddling and spooning; hugging and horse-play. I remember that the size of the sturdy pine, This End Up couches provided sufficient room to lie back in a friend's lap.  Or you could give a back rub, and receive one in return.  Magical!  On one occasion a classmate earnestly held my hand, inspecting my palm, and gave me a mystical reading of my nature and fate -- a moment of close contact.

The author with a classmate in a big comfy couch in the common area.

Somewhere, somehow, these sensory experiences got a little too intimate -- crossing the line of propriety.  Maybe the participants were publicly kissing, or they were a little too close for comfort.  I'll never forget the day that word filtered down that the residential advisors (RAs) would be restricting our "public displays of affection" (PDA).  

What a cruel rebuff of our adolescent desires -- our burning libidos!  Neither private nor public displays of affection were permitted, leaving us in limbo -- leaving us in the sensory "friend zone" in perpetuity.  

It was doomed to fail. Nothing could keep us apart.

When we couldn't stop ourselves, we would engage in subversively promiscuous behavior in the hidden nooks and crannies of the campus, or out-of-doors on the outskirts of the sprawling grounds; risking admonishment or discipline if we were caught in flagrante delicto.

Naturally couples formed -- an unstoppable, unrestrainable consequence of mutual attraction.  But no coupling came to pass -- a minor miracle (if true).  We adjusted to the confines of our society. We limited our public displays and suppressed our natural desires, as much as we were able.

As Autumn went by, we occupied ourselves with other things, besides our infatuations.  We continued our studies. We did our homework.  I remember the recklessness with which we played frisbee on the sloping, unkempt lawn between the dorms, risking injury if we flew too close to the concrete steps.  

We boldly voted to choose our school colors (blue and silver) and our mascot (the fantastical, enchanting Unicorn).  We secured the solidarity and spirit of our student body with a homecoming flag-football game, played in the November shade of the stately oak trees of Duke's East Campus.  

We sang our hopes and fears in a talent show.  We were so full of life.  We were fearless.

The sky turned from a hazy light blue to a deep cerulean blue as the outside temperatures fell.  The leaves of the poplars, crepe myrtles, sweet gum, and tupelo turned yellow and ochre and red and scarlet, and fell to the ground.

 We went home to spend Thanksgiving with our families.  We were thankful for all that life had to offer.  And we couldn't get back to school quickly enough, even with its limits and its demands.

So every year, when those picturesque leaves turn and fall, they remind me of the vibrance of color and feeling that the world held in 1980, when romance was in the air.

Very Active Social Lives During the First Year (and evidently every year thereafter...(Prompt 8)

by Grace Han Cunningham

I'm not sure what the adults were thinking would happen, but putting together a bunch of excited, young 15 and 16 years in a semi-supervised living situation resulted in a lot of PDA.  :)  Many of us found our first boyfriends or girlfriends within weeks of being on campus.

I remember that while members of the opposite sex were not allowed in dorm rooms, they were allowed in the lobby, and the lobby of Hill House was always full of visitors in the evenings. Students would hang out in the lobby of Warren's World on the third floor of the Bryan Center. I recall Warren would roll his eyes at couples who would sit and kiss all evening long on the blue couches there. 

At Hill House, there was a  huge message/bulletin board in the lobby where notes, flowers and stuff could be left pinned up under your name. Nope, there were no smart phones and you couldn't just text your peeps - these were dinosaur days.  :) There were always people hanging out in the lobby of Hill House.

Since rules were meant to be broken, couples managed to find a lot of privacy on a mostly deserted campus - so many rooms and buildings were still accessible even though they were technically off limits. There was a security guard or two but they mainly walked around the buildings exteriors at night to keep folks out of the area, but did not often bother the students. 

Students went everywhere for a little privacy - closed classrooms in the basement of Hill, closed off areas of Bryan, and closed buildings not in use. The hospital area, technically off limits, was a great place to find empty rooms even just to 'hang out' - as there wasn't a student center or any designated hang out area, so students found their own, indoors and out.

I recall many couples forming in the first few weeks as everyone found a group to belong to. Roomies became your bestie right off the bat. And for once, I believed everyone on campus felt like they finally fit in and that there weren't any cliques that sought to exclude others. Everyone found a friend or three. Its amazing to see several high school couples still going strong, almost 45 years later! Who would've guessed that lifelong ties would have been found at such an early age. 

Writing Prompt #8: PDA

Prompt:  Write a story (or more than one story) about "PDA", "Intervisitation", or dating at the School of Science and Math.

Due Date: July 21, 2025

Details:  

Write a story about "Public Displays of Affection" (PDA).  What do you remember about the behavior which led to a new set of guidelines in October of 1980?  

Alternatively write a story about the policy of "Intervisitation"; how students attempted to circumnavigate the policy; or how it affected the idea of romance on campus.  

Alternatively, write a story about dating on campus.  This might include how you met your future spouse.

Background:

New guidelines were established by the Residence Life Program (or the Student Personnel Services Department), within the first two months of the School's opening, designed to limit the "public displays of affection", also known as "PDA".  

There is no mention of "PDA" or inappropriate displays of affection in any of the Student Handbooks from the 1980's; but it is clear that students were strictly segregated by sex; and intervisitation between dorms (and between sexes) would be strictly limited and closely supervised.  Visitation between students of the opposite sex was not allowed in dorm rooms.  This resulted in a great deal of amorous activity in common areas and in more secluded, but public areas, on campus.  

By October 31, 1980, the term "PDA" had entered the vernacular of the student body to such a degree, that the original newsletter, called "The Weekly Rag", was renamed "PDA - Public Display of Announcements"; a cheeky parody of the name for the behavior that had recently come to the attention of the School's administration.

Here is an excerpt from the 1980 (and the 1981) Student Handbook:

"Intervisitation is defined as visiting between male and female students. Intervisitation in the residence halls is limited to public lounge areas only.....

- Visitation hours are:

 3PM - 7PM Monday-Thursday (and all Fridays preceding a Saturday instructional day) 

12 Noon - Midnight Friday-Saturday 

12 Noon - 7 PM Sunday 

This policy applies to both male and female visitors; visiting in student rooms with the opposite sex is not allowed."

Founding dean of students donates items to NCSSM-Durham

by Brian Faircloth, NCSSM communications specialist

October 13, 2023

Mike Collins and his wife, Sally, recently donated to NCSSM items from the school’s early years of operation. Collins was NCSSM’s first dean of students.

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Mike Collins, NCSSM’s first dean of students, returned to campus recently to donate a framed black-and-white photograph of the entire student body, faculty, and staff that was made on the very first day of classes at NCSSM in 1980. At that time, the school was still in transition from a shuttered hospital to a high school. Power tools and buckets of paint stood along walls outside classrooms, and there was no functional cafeteria; the school’s 150 students walked down the street to a nearby elementary school cafeteria for meals.

Over 40 years later, NCSSM is regularly noted as one of the best public high schools in the entire country. Its campus in Durham now serves 680 students in its Residential program, and reaches thousands of students and teachers throughout the state each year through outreach and online programs. In 2022, NCSSM innovated once again when it opened a second residential campus in Morganton, NC, that now has a full complement of 300 students calling it home.

“NCSSM was truly visionary,” Collins says, “and every person in that photo was a risk taker. Every person in that photo made a decision to, in many cases, leave behind good situations to be there, and I admired the ability of the faculty, the staff, the kids, and their parents to look beyond the moment and see the opportunity and what it would lead to.”

Though Collins, who spent four years with the school and helped implement the school’s admissions process, describes his vital contributions to NCSSM’s history as “modest,” his admiration of the school and its people has remained constant.

“NCSSM more than survived,” he says. “It has taken a leadership role and has been a good example for what can be done, not just in North Carolina, but in other parts of the country, as well. Whenever I’ve looked at that photo, I’ve felt a sense of pride in what the students did, and what they’ve done since.”

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[This article originally published online at NCSSM.edu in the News page.  It can be found with this link: https://www.ncssm.edu/news]

Coach Brown: since the beginning

by Anna Morrison

first published in The Stentorian, in December 1997 (Vol. XVII, No. 2, Page 9.)

Coach Brown: since the beginning

Coach Branson Brown has been at NCSSM since the school opened in 1980, along with other faculty like Dr. Jon Miller, Dr. Charles Britton, and Dr. Virginia Wilson.  Brown has worked in the Physical Education Department since he began, but his first year he also worked as an SLI, or Residential Advisor as they were known then.   Throughout the years Brown has watched the sports program at NCSSM grow and change.

According to Brown, NCSSM did not originally intend to have a varsity sports program.  However, cross-country was started as a club in the fall of 1980 by interested students like Doug Appleyard and Ken Murphy, Class of 1981. [sic - they are both members of the Class of 1982]

"[At the City/County meet in 1980] the other teams were laughing at us because we had tacky uniforms," Brown said.  "I found nine gold shirts.  We put NCSSM on them and ran."

Their club would soon be the beginning of the NCSSM varsity sports program.

Since NCSSM was not a member of the North Carolina High School Athletic Association (NCHSAA) at the time, the team was not allowed to finish the meet.  If they had finished, they would have placed third.  By 1981, NCSSM was an NCHSAA member, and by 1985 the school had all of the varsity sports now in existence.

(Branson Brown circa 1997 - credit Justin Chan)

Since his first year as an SLI, Brown has worked in the Physical Education Department full-time, assuming the responsibilities of maintaining a varsity program.

"I do all the athletic scheduling with advice from my coaches.  I am in charge of interviewing the coaches, and I propose the budget [to the Parents' Council]." Brown said.  "The athletic responsibilities are a lot more than scheduling.  You have to get referees, basketballs, prepare the gym, do concessions and find bus drivers."  Brown is also the Physical Activity and Wellness teacher for half of the junior class.

One of the things that Brown has appreciated most has been the progress of sports at S&M.  "I consider myself one of the luckiest coaches in the state.  I've been able to watch something grow like my own children.  The first principal, F. Borden Mace, told me that [NCSSM] would never have a Division I athlete."  NCSSM has had 25 Division I athletes, students who have [been]  accepted and play for teams like UNC, and at least 150 others to play in colleges.

Some of NCSSM's graduates have gone on to set records and compete on national levels in their sports.  Will Turner, Class of 1984, set the ACC Record in the triple jump while at NCSU.  Keith Bazemore, also of the Class of 1984, won the US All-Natural Superlift Weight Lifting Championship in 1993.  NCSSM also holds a number of state and regional records in track and swimming.  In 1992, and again in 1993, NCSSM won the Wachovia Cup, which encompases the abilities and records of all varsity sports.

"My greatest thrill, other than delivering my two boys, was winning the 1993 Wachovia Cup because that proved that the first one wasn't a fluke," Brown said.

After 17 years at NCSSM, Brown still loves working at the school.  He said his favorite part is the kids.

"Y'all are the kind of kids I want my own running around with," Brown said.

(Branson Brown circa 1981 - credit Steve Gallup)

[The Stentorian, Vol. XVII, No. 2, December 1997, Page 9. Digital NC online newspaper archives]

The original web page can be found here:  https://newspapers.digitalnc.org

The Abiders

by Lauren E. Everhart

"The Abiders" - first published in NCSSM Magazine in 2006

[NCSSM Magazine - 2006; Other Campus and Student Publications; NCSSM Digital Collection]